Serving You Real News With a Side of Satire

CEO to Karen from Events “Splurge on This Year’s Holiday Party,” Hands Her Nineteen Wet Dollars

By Connor Sampson | September 24, 2019

Tech N’ Tech, a New York City-based tech start-up that absolutely does tech-related tech venture capital tech just raised a $32.5 million seed round this past Monday. To celebrate, their CEO, John Whitman, handed Karen from events nineteen wet dollar bills and told her to really “splurge on this year’s holiday party.”

Comedy Scene Unsafe for Straight White Men Says Straight White Male Comedian

By Connor Sampson

“I have a point of view too,” Scaletta told reporters while crying over his seventh slice of dollar pizza. Two months after leaving his career in finance behind, Joseph Scaletta, 29, of Brooklyn, is beginning to rethink his decision to pursue comedy full-time. It’s not the hustle, Scaletta says, which he’s used to—he put in…

The Man Behind the Renovation of Town Stages—A Conversation with the Incredible Artist, Designer, and General Contractor HoSang Lee

By Connor Sampson

“When a tiger dies, they leave their skin behind. When a human dies, they leave their name behind.” I’m not dying tomorrow, but I want to leave my name behind. This is who I am. I’m trying to do my best and build a reputation in good faith. Sitting down with HoSang Lee was a…

Meet the Sokoloff Creative Arts Fellows—with Director & Poet Emma Rosa Went

By Connor Sampson

Morning, Emma. Thanks for being here. Morning, Connor. Thanks for having me. Can you introduce yourself to your adoring fans? Bless you, my dude, there are no such fans, but let’s dream! Touché. Can you introduce yourself to you soon-to-be-adoring fans? Sure. Hey there! I’m Emma Rosa Went and I’m a director. Also, I’m a…

BREAKING NEWS: Theatre Company to Perform Shakespeare

By Connor Sampson

According to a press release picked up by broadwayworld.com and literally no other publication, a theatre company somewhere will apparently be mounting a production of a play by none other than long-time, long-time-dead playwright William Shakespeare. The production, directed by someone named either Thomas or Aaron, will feature an extraordinary amount of dictation from non-equity…

Meet the Sokoloff Arts Creative Fellows—with Actor, Writer, Producer Lacy Marie Meyer

By Connor Sampson

Hey, Lacy.  Hey, Connor. Can you introduce yourself in one sentence? Of course. I’m Lacy Marie Meyer and I’m an actor, writer, and a producer. In that order? I don’t feel the need to rank them. And I won’t make you. How about we start easy. What’s the number one most played artist you’re listening to right now?  Well, I’ve been creating a playlist for my series because another Sokoloff Arts Fellow, Charlotte Arnoux, suggested I do…

NYC Theatre Company Creates New Immersive Experience, Audience Members Work in Office Doing Literally Whatever Needs to Get Done

By Connor Sampson

“It was thrilling,” Anita Donelan, 34, told reporters. “The only information I received was an address and that I’d be reporting to Sharon in Marketing.” The phone call is the beginning of NYC Staffing Inc.’s new immersive experience (currently untitled) in which audience members show up to an office and complete tedious tasks in order…

NYC Wedding & Event Planner Announces Bid to Run for President in 2028 Because It’s So Obvious

By Connor Sampson

“If I didn’t kill Karen during that DIY wedding in Long Island, just give me the nuclear codes now,” Simmons told reporters this past Sunday.

TOWN STAGES & SOKOLOFF ARTS SEEKS NEW BOARD MEMBERS

By Connor Sampson

After hitting the one-year mark on their flagship location at 221 W. Broadway, Town Stages and Sokoloff Arts is looking to expand their Executive & Young Professional Boards.

Floating Island of “Joyless” Household Trash Discovered by 68-Year-Old Fisherman

By Connor Sampson

Rhode Island fisherman discovers four ton mass of worthless, “joyless” garbage in the Atlantic Ocean.

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