Serving You Real News With a Side of Satire

CEO to Karen from Events “Splurge on This Year’s Holiday Party,” Hands Her Nineteen Wet Dollars

By Connor Sampson | September 24, 2019

Tech N’ Tech, a New York City-based tech start-up that absolutely does tech-related tech venture capital tech just raised a $32.5 million seed round this past Monday. To celebrate, their CEO, John Whitman, handed Karen from events nineteen wet dollar bills and told her to really “splurge on this year’s holiday party.”

Meet the Sokoloff Arts Creative Fellows—with Mother Line Story Project’s Executive Director Eliza Martin Simpson

By Connor Sampson

Hey, Eliza. Could you introduce yourself?  Hello! My name is Eliza Martin Simpson. Who’s your number one most played artist right now? Big Bang. They’re KPOP. I’ve been sleeping on KPOP. I’m definitely going to check them out. Highly recommend. Cool. How do you spend your free time? Free…what? Fair. Enough. Let’s get down to…

Talented Nephew Robbed of Tony Nom Due to Not Getting Cast in Anything, Says Aunt

By Connor Sampson

Diane Robbins, 52, a registered nurse at MassGeneral Hospital in Boston, MA and aunt of Michael Peterson, 29, is boycotting the Tony Awards. “It’s a ruse,” she says. Up-in-arms due to the fact that her incredibly talented nephew was robbed of a Tony Award Nomination for the eighth consecutive year, Robbins doesn’t understand why no…

6 Easy Icebreakers for Your Next Networking Event (that won’t make your palms sweat)

By Connor Sampson

Icebreakers are great ways to lighten the atmosphere of any networking event and begin the bonding process. Here are six easy, low-preparation games to play at your next networking event: 1. Ask Me About My… Materials: Name tags. Ideal for: Groups that shy away from formal icebreakers. This game is simple and a great option…

High School Drama Teacher Wants Everyone To Know That He Absolutely Chose This Life

By Connor Sampson

Insulted by allegations that his career as a high school drama teacher is anything but a dream, Paul Clark, 49, would like everyone to know that his profession is, in no way, a plan B. Clark, who teaches six sections of Spanish II in addition to his two sections of Drama 101 and heading the…

Game of Thrones to Change Ending In Order to Satisfy Fans’ Blood-thirst

By Connor Sampson

After the premiere of the final season of HBO’s hit show Game of Thrones on Sunday, it appears that head writers David Benioff and D.B. Weiss are heading back to the drawing board to rework the ending. “There’s not enough death,” Benioff told reporters, reacting to fans grievances about the “boring” premiere. “They only want…

THIS IS NOT A GALA INVITATION—An Open Letter for Those of You Who Would Not Like To Attend a Gala (because this isn’t one)

By Connor Sampson

*You might mistake the below as an invitation to Musical Theatre Factory’s gala, but your assumption would be incorrect as Musical Theatre Factory is not throwing a gala on May 13th. Dear Friend,  What is a Gala you ask? Colloquially referred to in most communities as I’m-sorry-I-have-something-that-night, a Gala is a formal, festive celebration, typically…

Meet the Sokoloff Arts Creative Fellows—with Interdisciplinary Performance Maker & Educator Anna Lublina

By Connor Sampson

Hey, Anna. Hey, Connor.  At this point, you might know the drill. Could you introduce yourself?  I’m Anna Lublina. I’m an interdisciplinary performance maker and an educator. Who’s your number one most played artist right now?  Gillian Welch How do you spend your free time? Umm… not too long ago I went to see frozen…

How to Become a Successful Artist in Three Easy Steps

By Connor Sampson and the Town Stages Team

1.) Step One Prior to entering the consciousness of our world, ensure that, when you breach, you do so at an angle so as to behold the full glory of the sun. For best results, stare directly into its warmth for a minimum of ten unblinking minutes as you whisper the secret of the universe…

Meet the Sokoloff Creative Arts Fellows—with Writer & Actor Molly Powers Gallagher

By Connor Sampson

Hey, Molly, fancy running into you in this place we both agreed to meet.  Hey, Connor. I love a good coincidence.  Can you introduce yourself?  Hi, I’m Molly Powers Gallagher. I like that you introduce yourself with just your name. No descriptors necessary.  Well, I’m more than my resume. (I’m an actor and a writer.)…

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