Serving You Real News With a Side of Satire

BREAKING NEWS: High School to Perform All-White Version of Grease

By Connor Sampson | August 15, 2019

Riding the lukewarm response from their all-white versions of Bye Bye Birdie (’18), Little Shop of Horrors (’17), and their mostly-white version of Into the Woods (’16), Middlebury High School announces their all-white production of Grease—set to premiere this fall. When asked why she insists on producing all-white musicals, Cindy Fleming, the head of Middlebury’s…

High School Drama Teacher Wants Everyone To Know That He Absolutely Chose This Life

By Connor Sampson

Insulted by allegations that his career as a high school drama teacher is anything but a dream, Paul Clark, 49, would like everyone to know that his profession is, in no way, a plan B. Clark, who teaches six sections of Spanish II in addition to his two sections of Drama 101 and heading the…

Game of Thrones to Change Ending In Order to Satisfy Fans’ Blood-thirst

By Connor Sampson

After the premiere of the final season of HBO’s hit show Game of Thrones on Sunday, it appears that head writers David Benioff and D.B. Weiss are heading back to the drawing board to rework the ending. “There’s not enough death,” Benioff told reporters, reacting to fans grievances about the “boring” premiere. “They only want…

THIS IS NOT A GALA INVITATION—An Open Letter for Those of You Who Would Not Like To Attend a Gala (because this isn’t one)

By Connor Sampson

*You might mistake the below as an invitation to Musical Theatre Factory’s gala, but your assumption would be incorrect as Musical Theatre Factory is not throwing a gala on May 13th. Dear Friend,  What is a Gala you ask? Colloquially referred to in most communities as I’m-sorry-I-have-something-that-night, a Gala is a formal, festive celebration, typically…

Meet the Sokoloff Arts Creative Fellows—with Interdisciplinary Performance Maker & Educator Anna Lublina

By Connor Sampson

Hey, Anna. Hey, Connor.  At this point, you might know the drill. Could you introduce yourself?  I’m Anna Lublina. I’m an interdisciplinary performance maker and an educator. Who’s your number one most played artist right now?  Gillian Welch How do you spend your free time? Umm… not too long ago I went to see frozen…

How to Become a Successful Artist in Three Easy Steps

By Connor Sampson and the Town Stages Team

1.) Step One Prior to entering the consciousness of our world, ensure that, when you breach, you do so at an angle so as to behold the full glory of the sun. For best results, stare directly into its warmth for a minimum of ten unblinking minutes as you whisper the secret of the universe…

Meet the Sokoloff Creative Arts Fellows—with Writer & Actor Molly Powers Gallagher

By Connor Sampson

Hey, Molly, fancy running into you in this place we both agreed to meet.  Hey, Connor. I love a good coincidence.  Can you introduce yourself?  Hi, I’m Molly Powers Gallagher. I like that you introduce yourself with just your name. No descriptors necessary.  Well, I’m more than my resume. (I’m an actor and a writer.)…

Comedy Scene Unsafe for Straight White Men Says Straight White Male Comedian

By Connor Sampson

“I have a point of view too,” Scaletta told reporters while crying over his seventh slice of dollar pizza. Two months after leaving his career in finance behind, Joseph Scaletta, 29, of Brooklyn, is beginning to rethink his decision to pursue comedy full-time. It’s not the hustle, Scaletta says, which he’s used to—he put in…

The Man Behind the Renovation of Town Stages—A Conversation with the Incredible Artist, Designer, and General Contractor HoSang Lee

By Connor Sampson

“When a tiger dies, they leave their skin behind. When a human dies, they leave their name behind.” I’m not dying tomorrow, but I want to leave my name behind. This is who I am. I’m trying to do my best and build a reputation in good faith. Sitting down with HoSang Lee was a…

Meet the Sokoloff Creative Arts Fellows—with Director & Poet Emma Rosa Went

By Connor Sampson

Morning, Emma. Thanks for being here. Morning, Connor. Thanks for having me. Can you introduce yourself to your adoring fans? Bless you, my dude, there are no such fans, but let’s dream! Touché. Can you introduce yourself to you soon-to-be-adoring fans? Sure. Hey there! I’m Emma Rosa Went and I’m a director. Also, I’m a…

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