Serving You Real News With a Side of Satire

BREAKING NEWS: High School to Perform All-White Version of Grease

By Connor Sampson | August 15, 2019

Riding the lukewarm response from their all-white versions of Bye Bye Birdie (’18), Little Shop of Horrors (’17), and their mostly-white version of Into the Woods (’16), Middlebury High School announces their all-white production of Grease—set to premiere this fall. When asked why she insists on producing all-white musicals, Cindy Fleming, the head of Middlebury’s…

BREAKING NEWS: High School to Perform All-White Version of Grease

By Connor Sampson

Riding the lukewarm response from their all-white versions of Bye Bye Birdie (’18), Little Shop of Horrors (’17), and their mostly-white version of Into the Woods (’16), Middlebury High School announces their all-white production of Grease—set to premiere this fall. When asked why she insists on producing all-white musicals, Cindy Fleming, the head of Middlebury’s…

Wedding Valet Actually Just Uncle Proving He Can Parallel Park

By Connor Sampson

Janelle Barnes and her soon-to-be husband, Thomas Wright, did not hire a valet for their wedding last Sunday, but when Anne Marie Jacobs, 34, arrived at the ceremony, she was greeted by a middle-aged man telling her to “Just get out. I’ll do it.” The man, dressed in a Life is Good t-shirt and cargo shorts ended up parking nearly every car at the event and continued doing so well into the ceremony. “I don’t know why I just handed him my keys,” Jacobs, a cousin of the bride, told reporters. “He was—aggressively—friendly.” It wasn’t until hours later when Jacobs noticed the, now suited, man performing a striptease for a tent pole, that he probably wasn’t the valet.

Town Stages is Proud to Introduce its Board Of Directors

By Robin Sokoloff

Town Stages introduces its Board of Directors to expand its efforts to foster the future by reimagining equity and access in New York City spaces. A woman-led institution, Town Stages LLC prides itself on transforming the face of leadership. Town Stages is a 100% wholly-owned subsidiary of Sokoloff Arts Foundation (501c3), run for the benefit…

Best Man Shocked Unplanned Wedding Toast Didn’t Absolutely Kill It

By Connor Sampson

“Do I look like the kind of guy that needs to prepare a speech?” Doug Mandel, 29, reportedly asked his fellow groomsmen before taking five whiskey shots and delivering an entirely off-the-cuff toast that guests describe as “sweaty,” and “the only thing worse than the catering.”

An Interview with Obinna Okani—a Connector of People & Experiences

By Connor Sampson

Thanks for sitting down with me. Thanks for doing this. Can you introduce yourself? My name is Obinna Okani. I like to say that I’m a connector of people and experiences. I like that a lot. Okay, before we dive into work and what you do. What do you do in your free time? I…

BREAKING: Secret to Life Discovered in E-mail Chain Nobody Read

By Connor Sampson

The secret to life has been discovered in an e-mail dated June 20th, 2009 and labeled IMPORTANT PLEASE READ. The e-mail, by Maria Rodriguez to eighteen of her colleagues, allegedly went unread for the better part of a decade until one of them went hunting for photos from a team building exercise from the same…

Meet the Sokoloff Arts Creative Fellows—with Mother Line Story Project’s Executive Director Eliza Martin Simpson

By Connor Sampson

Hey, Eliza. Could you introduce yourself?  Hello! My name is Eliza Martin Simpson. Who’s your number one most played artist right now? Big Bang. They’re KPOP. I’ve been sleeping on KPOP. I’m definitely going to check them out. Highly recommend. Cool. How do you spend your free time? Free…what? Fair. Enough. Let’s get down to…

Talented Nephew Robbed of Tony Nom Due to Not Getting Cast in Anything, Says Aunt

By Connor Sampson

Diane Robbins, 52, a registered nurse at MassGeneral Hospital in Boston, MA and aunt of Michael Peterson, 29, is boycotting the Tony Awards. “It’s a ruse,” she says. Up-in-arms due to the fact that her incredibly talented nephew was robbed of a Tony Award Nomination for the eighth consecutive year, Robbins doesn’t understand why no…

6 Easy Icebreakers for Your Next Networking Event (that won’t make your palms sweat)

By Connor Sampson

Icebreakers are great ways to lighten the atmosphere of any networking event and begin the bonding process. Here are six easy, low-preparation games to play at your next networking event: 1. Ask Me About My… Materials: Name tags. Ideal for: Groups that shy away from formal icebreakers. This game is simple and a great option…

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