BREAKING: Secret to Life Discovered in E-mail Chain Nobody Read

The secret to life has been discovered in an e-mail dated June 20th, 2009 and labeled IMPORTANT PLEASE READ. The e-mail, by Maria Rodriguez to eighteen of her colleagues, allegedly went unread for the better part of a decade until one of them went hunting for photos from a team building exercise from the same year. When questioned, most of the e-mail’s recipients stated that they believe the e-mail must have gotten “buried” under the avalanche of daily work messages. Three recipients say they distinctly remember marking the e-mail unread and had every intention of returning to it in a more convenient future. Two even starred the e-mail, unsure why or what that meant. Though the original e-mail went unread, the chain went on to become twenty-four e-mails long—beginning with loosely related tangents until eventually deciding Karen would host the next BBQ.

The only statement that Maria released comes from her Twitter:


Though this story is entirely fake news and all material within is a fabrication of the writer’s imagination, Town Stages is a real-life event space in Tribeca with a mission to support under-valued and under-represented voices in the arts. Click here to learn more about the space or to book a tour.

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