“It was thrilling,” Anita Donelan, 34, told reporters. “The only information I received was an address and that I’d be reporting to Sharon in Marketing.”
The phone call is the beginning of NYC Staffing Inc.’s new immersive experience (currently untitled) in which audience members show up to an office and complete tedious tasks in order to keep the business afloat and its workers from having to stay past 6 PM.
“I bought a three-day ticket and spent every second of every day inputting data into a spreadsheet,” eccentric billionaire, Todd Colmsly, 42, told reporters while slicing into a spiral ham made of white gold. “This show really represents the heart and ethos of struggling white-collar Americana. Hopeless and unfulfilling.”
In-between setting sackfuls of money on fire, Anita Donelan, an avid fan of any-and-all “experiences” told reporters that she believed the show was worth seeing simply to witness the interactions between the ensemble. “They really seemed to hate each other. And the toxic masculinity? Palpable.”
Tickets start at $1000 dollars for their one-day package, but NYC Staffing Inc. also offers week-long retreats in addition to “flex” memberships. Needless to say, NYC Staffing encourages seeing the show more than once. “Of course I’m going back. My friend got fired in the first training scene. That’s hardcore,” Donelan said. To date, it appears that no audience member has entered the same “track” which, according to Donelan, is a marvel. “Their budget must be enormous.”
NYC Staffing Inc. recommends that audience members have basic knowledge of Microsoft Office before purchasing a ticket. Previous experience with Adobe Photoshop is a plus. Discounts exist for patrons who can prove they can change an ink cartridge.
Though this post is entirely fake news and all material within is a fabrication of the writer’s imagination, Town Stages is a real-life event space in Tribeca with a mission to support under-valued and under-represented voices in the arts. Click here to learn more about the space or to book a tour.